How to obtain perfect trousers that excel at everything from bouldering to mountaineering.
Step one: Buy generic trackies.
Step two: Buy some paint, the brighter it is the more effective the trousers.
Step three: Print out some shapes, the sillier the better.
Step four: Now lay the shapes over the trousers and paint.
Step five: Leave to dry
Step six: Climb all the things and be the envy of all your mates.